Hullo babiess. So friends with benefits eh? I know some of you guys are reading this because you think I’m going to share some vivid experience, eeyah 😂.
What are friends with benefits? It’s pretty direct stuff: it’s two friends deciding to add sexual benefits to their friendship. It’s simple and yet so complex at the same time.
It’s actually a somewhat controversial topic because people get confused about whether it’s a good idea or not. But frankly though, a lot of people are in these relationships these days.
Let’s talk about the pros and cons of having a friends with benefits relationship, yes?
1. Intimacy whenever you want it: When I say intimacy, I’m not talking ‘I love you so much, I want to know you to the depths of your soul’, I’m talking about getting what you want sexually without stressing. Your partner is only one call away and you don’t need to start worrying about any extra stuff, unlike if you’re in a relationship. For example, if you need to scratch your itch 😂, you can pretty much just call them up and they’d be down. Easy stuff 👌🏼.
2. Freedom: In a friends with benefits relationship, you’re freeeee like a bird🤸🏼♀️ ! You’re not attached to anybody relationship or anything wise and you don’t owe your partner anything; you guys are just friends who chose to get involved so no jealousy and no excess emotions. If you decide to have another friend with benefits or begin an actual relationship, you’re free to because you’re single like a pringle.
3. Friendship and sexual satisfaction: This is two for the price of one, hehe. You have both friendship and sexual satisfaction in one relationship. Sweet eh? You can call up your friend to be a friend and you can also call them up for the benefits orrr you can just do both 😌.
1. You catch feelings: This frankly is the biggest problem with friends with benefits’ relationships: someone usually catches feelings. I’m not saying everyone does but a good majority of people in these types of relationships usually just fall in feelings after some time. So yeah, this type of relationship might not be great when you begin to catch feelings. Especially with the jealousy, oh the jealousy that you have no right to feel mehn.
And the most painful part, with or without feelings, your partner owes you nothing, nada, zilch, zero.
2. Disrespect: A friends with benefits breeds disrespect, truly. Only a small percentage of people can handle this relationship with maturity, boundaries and respect and it’s hard to find because honestly, most people don’t have sense. When something goes wrong in your friendship, you’ll get insulted and dragged around like a mop just because sex. With an immature person, regret is certainly certain.
3. Friendship gets ruined: There usually comes a time where a friends with benefits relationship will become about just the sex if feelings don’t interfere first, of course. This sucks especially when you’re trying to be a friend to your friend but they’re just thinking about sex. A friends with benefits relationship then becomes a purely sexual relationship which of course won’t sit well with one partner which is usually the girl if we’re being honest. And voila, the beginning of the end.
4. Illusion of comfort: It’s super easy to get comfortable in a friends with benefits relationship. You think ‘Oh I have a friend in this person and we have great sexual energy. I don’t need anyone else’ but this thought is deceptive. Very deceptive. If you’ve had this thought recently and you’re in a friends with benefits relationship, shut it out. Your partner owes you nothing so you really have no right to feel this comfort. This is harsh but true and you have to get it into. your. head.
5. STDs: Lool, this isn’t a joke oh. Your partner could have another partner and some of these STDs don’t show on the face. So one day you’re clean, the next day you’re seriously scratching your genitals.
The most annoying part about it is it’s really your business because your partner still doesn’t owe you anything, once again.
Looking at the pros and cons, it might be a little hard to decide if being in a friends with benefits relationship is a good choice (or not 🌚). I have tried to be as equal as possible in telling you the pros and cons of being in a friend with benefits relationship so it’your choice. To be or not to be?
Till my next blog post, babies 😊.